For a number of weeks now, our refrigerator has decided to take on the life of a microwave. It has made it its responsibility to defrost all frozen goods and heat any food item placed within its boundaries. As a result, I have eaten many things of questionable nutritional value and now, my stomach has decided it wants to make a grand exit out of my body by means of my mouth (in less subtle terms, I want to vomit).

What a good day to be alive. With all these great inventions – microwave refrigerators and attention seeking stomachs – why would anyone not welcome the New Year with great enthusiasm.